A Secret that should never have been hidden

Mike sighed and slowly opened his eyes again, hesitantly looking back at his anxious boyfriend.

"All I want you to worry about right now is getting better, okay?" John asked.

Mike slowly nodded, eyes still filled with tears "S...S..." he tried hard to talk past the ventilator "S...sorry..."

"Shhhhh, we'll talk about that later when you don't have that pesky thing down you throat." John said. "Now, you just rest for now, okay?" John asked, placing a gentle kiss on Mike's forehead.

Mike nodded and went back to sleep, one hand tightly holding John's

John smiled, soon drifting off himself.

Two days later the ventilator was finally removed as Mike's lungs began to recover from the infection.

John smiled slightly, now that Mike was returning to his old self. He still needed to confront him though.

Mike sighed as he awoke, today marked his fourth day in the hospital. He felt much better now that the tube was gone from his throat, but he still got tired very easily thanks to the antibiotics still running through his system. Truthfully he wished he still had the ventilator, because he was dreading what he knew John was going to say. Taking a deep breath he turned and looked at his boyfriend

"I know what you want to say" he whispered "Just go ahead and say it; I did it again, I lied about getting better."

"Why do you keep lying to me Mike?" John asked. "Don't you trust me?"

"John of course I trust you!" Mike paused to clear his throat "But at the time I really thought I was getting better, until I got to the arena, and by then it was too late for me to go back."

John sighed.

"Mike, you've got to stop lying to me," John said. "Or otherwise, I won't be here for you to lie to."

"John you wouldn't leave me!" Mike pushed himself up as he stared at John in horror "You'd really leave?"

"If you keep this up then yes Mike, I would," John said. "I'm not going to stay with someone that lies to me."

"But I don't mean to lie..." Mike whimpered "It's just...it's just..." he began to cry "I always got in trouble when I told someone I was sick."

"Mike, baby," John said softly. "Did you think that I would be mad at you for being sick?"

"Not you..." Mike whispered, his voice growing distant "My parents did though...ever since I could remember, I'd come to them with anything, a stomachache, a cold, and they'd shove me away, they couldn't be bothered to take care of me. So the older I got, the more I learned how to take care of myself. I've never known anyone who actually wanted to take care of me!" Mike burst into tears at the dark memories that came to him,

"Mike," John said softly, sliding into the bed and pulling the sobbing man into his arms. "I love you, I'm supposed to take care of you, that's what I'm here for."

'No one's ever loved me that much." Mike sobbed, trembling slightly in his lover's arms "I don't deserve it."

"Yes you do," John said softly. "You deserve so much more than what you've gotten Mike."

"Johnny..." Mike whimpered softly "I love you and I'm sorry I lied to you."

"I love you too baby," John said. "and I forgive you, just no more, okay?"

"Promise" Mike yawned, snuggling into John's arms "Just never stop loving me like this."

"Baby, I couldn't stop even if I wanted to," John smiled.

"Love you Johnny" Mike yawned and drifted off to sleep, feeling much better than he had in a long time.