An Ungodly Violation

Adam lied down on the bed with Jay still in his arms, pulling him close in a gently protective fashion. "Get some sleep little one, I won't leave you," Adam murmured. "I'll never leave you."

Soothed by the deep rumble of Adam's voice, Jay fell asleep, but it was not peaceful by any means. He was having a horrific nightmare, some man he didn't recognize was ripping at his clothes and tearing into his body. It all felt so real, like it had actually happened and in a flash part of Jay's memory returned: this HAD happened, and it had happened to him. With this piece of knowledge tucked into his brain, he woke up screaming in terror.

"Easy, easy little one it's alright," Adam whispered. "Shhh now, it's okay, I've got you."

"I had such a bad dream...." Jay whimpered, his heart pounding in his chest "I felt this horrible pain, someone was hurting me Addy!" He burrowed into Adam's chest and began to sob "Don't let..him hurt me...again...." Jay cried, shaking with sorrow "Save me Addy...."

"Hey, hey, shhhh," Adam whispered. "He's not going to hurt you anymore, I'm not going to let anyone hurt you like that ever again."

"Oh my god, oh my god..." Jay began to sob even harder as the full memory returned to him "He RAPED me Addy....he pushed me against the wall like a cheap slut and he RAPED me!" Jay buried his face in his arms and continued to moan "I wish I were dead..." he whispered "I don't deserve to live after this."

"Shhhh little one, shhh," Adam whispered, rubbing circles on Jay's back. "Don't talk like that baby, you know I couldn't live a day without you."

"I love you Addy" Jay's voice was a whisper as he cried himself to sleep "I'll always love you."

"I love you too Jay," Adam whispered. "Always and forever."

After a time, when Jay was sure Adam was sound asleep, he slipped out of bed and pulled his shoes back on "I'm sorry Addy" he watched his lover sleep for a moment "I hope you can find the strength to live without me." Wiping a few last tears away, he snuck out of the hotel room, and headed out into the cold, wintry night...

Adam awoke a few minutes later to find that Jay was gone. His eyes widened in worry within seconds, jumping out of bed her searched around the hotel before grabbing his shoes and jacket and rushing outside in search of his younger lover. "JAY!!!!!!!" Adam yelled.

Jay shivered with cold as he stumbled down the abandoned streets of the city; it was past 3am, everybody was at home. Part of Jay wanted so badly to be back with Adam, but with all the painful memories running through his head...he just couldn't stay, there was only one thing he could do, and that was go away...permanently. Fortunately, he knew just the place to do it. His step becoming a little firmer, he took a left and headed for the park, determined to carry his dark plan out.

I wish I were dead Jay's words hung heavy in Adam's head. He could feel the tears rising in his eyes the longer he searched but still found no sign of Jay. "Where the hell are you?" Adam muttered as he wiped a few tears off his cheeks.

Jay flung a rock out into the half frozen pond and winced when he heard the ice crack. It would be painful, but it would serve as a quick exit from a world he no longer wanted to live in.

"I'm so sorry Addy" Jay's voice shook with cold and pain as he climbed up to the bridge that looked over the small pond "It just hurts too bad..." He poised himself on the ledge, all he'd have to do was step out and it would all end in a cold, frozen rush...

Walking around again still continuing his search Adam's eyes widened when he saw Jay. "Jay!" Adam shouted. "Don't do this!"

Jay's wide eyes were full of heartbreak and fear "Don't come any closer Addy" Jay took one foot off and was now only inches away from dropping "You can't help me any more, just let me go!"

"No Jay," Adam said. "I can't let you go, I love you, I can't live without you."

"I'm sorry..." Jay whispered, slowly letting go of the bridge "I'm so sorry..." he leapt off and briefly felt the cold wind whistle around him before he fell into the icy water below...

"Jay!" Adam shouted instantly rushing toward the icy water ignoring the pain as he went after his lover.

Stunned by the shock of the impact, Jay floated unconscious in the frigid water, slowly beginning to sink out of view, his head would be underwater within a matter of moments...

"No no no no no," Adam muttered, completly numb by now. He reached Jay just before his body was fully submerged and pulled the smaller man into his arms, making his way back to the land.

Laying on the frozen ground, Jay shivered uncontrollably, he was literally blue with the cold, but...he was still alive.

Adam was shaking as he began the journey to bring Jay back to the hotel. He was NOT going to let him die.

Only semi-conscious, Jay was vaguely aware of two facts: one, he was still alive and two, he was COLD!

"C-c-cold..." his teeth chattered painfully "S-s-s-o c-cold..."

"I know baby, I know," Adam said softly as he reached the hotel. "You'll be warm soon."